About six months ago, I decided to drop meat from my diet. I had been toying with the idea of trying vegetarianism for quite awhile, mostly due to health concerns, but also because of my general squeamishness around modern industrial farming practices. I'm not going to get up on a soapbox about these processes, but it's safe to say that a few minutes (and I spent more than a few) of googling will open your eyes and turn your stomach.
I've been pretty good about it. I haven't lost any weight from eliminating the meat, but I haven't really gained anything either, so that's a wash. I've enjoyed my food a little more, secure in the knowledge no animals were harmed in its production. Well, most of the time. I admit I didn't go all the way when I gave up animal products. I still eat fish and eggs, and I LOVE ice cream. The eggs and the ice cream (all organic) are reasonable - no animals are killed in their production. The fish thing is a little trickier. I was a pretty serious fisherman when I was younger and I've caught, cleaned, and eaten more than I can count. My rationale (yes, I rationalized pretty hard here) with fish is they fall far enough below the sentience level of other farm animals that they're pretty damned close to a vegetable. Now I'm sure the hardcore vegetarians out there will blast me for this attitude. Feel free. But you may want to keep reading first, because I'm going to give you a whole lot more ammo in just a few sentences.
This brings me to Thanksgiving. Turkey Day. The day we, as Americans, stuff our selves until bursting and then collapse in a tryptophan and booze-induce coma for a long fall nap. Coming from the south (Virginia specifically), Thanksgiving has always meant
country ham and turkey. As the day grew closer, I began to develop intense cravings for country ham. Forty-something years of conditioning was signaling my body that the time was near. If you're not from the south, the whole country ham thing probably doesn't make a lot of sense. It's a regional thing, and many accustomed to northern hams (as my Aunt called sugar-cured hams several years ago) don't like it because it's rather salty. But I do. In fact, I love it.
I made a momentous decision: I would abandon vegetarianism for the day. I wasn't, however, going to go out of my way in my search. I know it's possible to get a country ham
delivered over the internet. I've done it after all. More than once. But, I told myself, if I found country ham at
Trader Joe's,
Sunflower Market, or
Whole Foods, I would buy some. And I would eat every last bite, vegetarianism be damned.
Alas, I live in the desert southwest. I'm not sure of the ham culture here, but country ham certainly doesn't seem to be part of it. I saw lots of sugar-cured hams, turkey hams (WTF?), proscuitto (which is close to country ham, but not quite), and believe it or not, vegetarian ham substitute. But no country ham.
I was relieved. My temptation had been foiled by lack of availability.
Not quite.
I started to gather ingredients to make a nice
stuffed squash instead. I had most of my stuff in my basket, when I passed by the meat section and encountered a display of
Tofurkey and right below it, genuine,
organic turkey breasts. I stopped. Stared. My stomach rumbled and my mouth watered at the thought of a slice of hot turkey meat, swimming in gravy.
Mind you, my wife an I have three chickens living in our back yard. They're not the smartest animals. They feel pain and they most definitely feel terror when I try to catch them or our dogs bark at them. Turkeys are not that different. The thought of killing one turns my stomach.
But...
But one turkey breast can't hurt, can it? It's already dead after all. Maybe it died of natural causes? Yeah. Right. I wrestled with this dilemma as I did a lap around TJs, trying to justify my cravings. Returning to the meat section, I picked up the Tofurkey and examined it. I read the ingredients and nutrition label. I stared at the picture for a long minute, trying to convince myself the pinkish-brown loaf-shaped thing on the box would satisfy my cravings.
And then I put it back on the shelf and took the Turkey breast.
Sorry turkey. I'm an omnivore, at least for today.
